Why More People Should Feel Entitled

I was struck recently by a strange realization, during a perfectly normal conversation about what kinds of foods I ate growing up. As a child, we lived in some amount of poverty, though not severe. What occurred to me is that while I did not eat what I wanted, it was also not what my mother would have wanted. Rather, it was determined by what we could afford. Of course, this is also fairly commonplace, as many who live without adequate income do the same. What is remarkable is the impact it had on me, and this is the odd part. It is not just the food choice, but that along with other factors of poverty that all boiled down to a profoundly dis-empowering message: what I want does not matter.

Let that fester for a moment, and especially if it has never occurred to you before. Try on the idea that what you want has no impact on the world around you. Hungry? Unimportant, you will eat what and when you are fed. Tired? Inconsequential, you must get up and get busy. Need a break, want some help, a birthday present, to see friends? Does not matter; what you want does not matter.

That should be a horrifying sentiment, and one that never enters a child's mind. To be raised with the idea one can never get what one wants should be something we all agree is unacceptable. Consider the immediate impact of devaluing the child, and how that begins to influence how they see themselves. Because this is not about winning or losing a fun game, this is about their sense of who they are. Even if it seems a minor issue, or one that can be overcome, why would it be one we add to the difficulties inherent in growing up? Further, if this thought is allowed to take hold, it can be debilitating and impact so many aspects of a person. Imagine living with such a person, one so monumentally unmotivated to do anything since throughout their whole life they never get what they want because wanting does not matter. Even if these were "just" coworkers, their basic lack of motivation would make getting any work from them a struggle. What other impacts to society, and everyday interactions, stem from these people having a hopeless and futile feeling about agency in their own lives?

Personally, I took that message to heart; I believed it and it became such a part of my world that I forgot that I could have wants or even preferences. I was well into adulthood before it even occurred to me to question that bedrock truth: what I want does not matter. This is not to excuse that belief, nor to blame anyone else for my own failings. As ever, there were a number of factors involved. Understanding and explaining something is different than forgiving or excusing that thing, and is a topic for another discussion. I simply point out that throughout my own life there have been a number of negative impacts because of this simple, fundamental belief; the only positive has been that I was remarkably easy to get along with, which could be accomplished through healthier means.

With all the talk of an "entitled" younger generation, I would encourage folks to remember how harmful the opposite tendency is. Celebrate people knowing what they want, and expecting the possibility of obtaining it. A world full of those people is at least a hopeful world,

Business Problems Require Business Solutions

It is ironic that many in business nowadays quote the aphorism "when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail", and yet fail to apply it to business itself. If one only thinks about businesses, then every problem can look like something a business could fix.

It seems common knowledge nowadays that we tend to stay within a "zone of comfort" and that what one knows determines what is possible. Let us establish, first, what these mean in everyday life, and, second, how they relate to the topic at hand. The phrase "getting outside your comfort zone" is easily understood. This is about how it takes effort to break away from our typical pattern and feels risky, with the result of staying comfortable unless pushed out of that zone. We generally stick with a few standard skills or plans to overcome challenges, and struggle when those fail us. Next, what we think of as possible is dictated by the knowledge we have available. For instance, if I am ignorant of rechargeable batteries, then I will think they can only be replaced. It will not be possible for me to consider charging them again, because it is outside what I know. Therefore, it is easiest to stay inside of a comfort zone and be blind to information extraneous to one's usual activities. Our interests and education are additionally bound by the hard limit of time available each day. In the business world, there are many artificial skills necessary for success: laws and specialized regulations concerning each industry, best practices and tips from colleagues, as well as general workplace standards and culture. These things set the parameters for the business world, establishing what is possible and where people are comfortable operating. Finally, so much time is consumed by the functions of working that there is little opportunity for exploration. Being good at business and focusing on building one's skill in business naturally results in other areas of life not being as developed. Additionally, succeeding in business drives folks to stay within their successful areas, where they earn their status and self-esteem. Once this goes on for long enough, it may seem business should be the focus of everyone. Indeed, when the majority of socialization comes from the workplace, and even in off-work hours one is listening to business news and learning more about business through reading or schooling, then so much of life revolves around the activity it would be no wonder someone would think business is all-important.

However, there are problems in looking at the world through a business lens. One is simply that business remains an artificial pursuit. Spending so much time in this artificial environment, pursuing artificial demands to artificial ends, takes away the context and connection to what is real. People focused on business can lose connection and compassion for others. An example is distancing and downplaying impacts by referring to them as abstract concepts, such as when insurance companies describe amputating the wrong limb as a "medical misadventure". Another relates to areas of life which are counter to business practices. Frankly, medicine is one such area; medical decisions are not for financial gain or profitability. This is partly due to considerations about quality of life, as there are few objective measures to cover that. Additionally, an emergency is not the time to be considering money issues. Not just because it is such an emotional situation, but also that extraneous concerns can interfere with necessary treatment decision-making. Returning to the subject of a business mindset being problematic, we can recognize that business is a hierarchical practice. This means that it does not lead to egalitarian or democratic thinking, which is antithetical to much of our social and governmental aspirations. The tendencies of those in business to only consider certain viewpoints and respond more positively to higher-status individuals illustrates why. These are three of the most prominent examples, and should already demonstrate why it is important to recognize the limitations and dangers of this type of thinking.

The Land of Propaganda

There is a strange idea that the U.S. has no mythology, that somehow it exists as a country free from such delusions or influences. This is a typical way of describing the idea of mythology: they are fairy tales from other cultures or the hokum of old religions. These stories are derided as "childish" or "quaintly silly" as if the U.S. were immune to such "nonsense".

Of course, that is untrue; there are more fables and tall tales here than are even called such. Beyond the legends that immigrants brought with them and after the rich history of the native peoples, even outside the fables of Paul Bunyan, Johnny Appleseed, or the Wild West, and leaving aside the embellished tales of George "I cannot tell a lie" Washington and Abraham "born in the log cabin he built with his own two hands" Lincoln, there are stories which have influenced generations. The stories I refer to are those of perseverance, success, plenty, and superiority. The mythology of the U.S. as a "meritocracy", where deserving people "pull themselves up by their bootstraps", and go "from rags to riches". The fables of "keeping up with the Joneses", having a "white picket fence" around a "Norman Rockwell home", and copying the "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" (or "MTV's 'Cribs'"). These myths claim that anyone can "climb the ladder" and "make it big", and, further, that hard work is what it takes. The other side is the belief that someone has to have an exceptional idea or talent in order to "strike it rich". These contradictory beliefs are another symptom of the myth: there is no internal consistency between the various parts of the fairy tale. The lies are especially difficult to recognize because of what we do see. People with no discernible talent or skill who are CEO's and politicians. When one looks at them, it makes no sense and seems to support the idea that anyone can become rich and influential. There are ready examples of entrepreneurs, athletes, and entertainers who manage to climb the economic ladder. These are the exceptions, or exceptional individuals, who come from nothing and succeed through pure talent. Thus, the propagation of the myth of "the land of opportunity". There are many reputable sources you can find that expose the falsity of this opportunity myth, you do not need to take my word for it. Instead, let me point out that the heart of the myth is not about the existence of opportunity. Rather it is about "who is worthy of opportunity".

The point here is that we are told a story: that anyone can do it, either through talent or perseverance. Rather than treating it as just a story, it is sold as the real deal. Because it makes claims of truth about how things work and why they are that way, and persists despite obvious evidence to the contrary, it is a mythology. Just as gods were created and used to explain earthquakes and famine, this mythology tells us why we suffer while others benefit. What makes it a bad story is not just that it is false, but that it is harmful. These fairy tales are ingrained stories that keep us from feeling the disappointment of our reality and engaging to make helpful (and long-overdue) changes. Finally, then, this is what makes them propaganda: focusing attention on illusory goals in order to distract from the reality surrounding us. We cannot see our way to changing something if the belief is that things "just are" this way. It does not make sense to talk about taking wetness out of water when we "know" that it is property of water to be wet. Similarly, we could not conceive of changing from hierarchy and false economic promises until we are aware that they are just a set of stories. It is when a habit is outside of awareness that it can be most dangerous. It is the unacknowledged parts that make up the assumptions and background of every thought which exert unchecked influence. This is because there is no way to guard against what is not even considered a threat, or really, what is not even acknowledged to exist. It is in this place of ignorance that these stories exist and thrive. By recognizing that they are stories, we can begin to change them and our circumstances.

 

Edit October 2022: for better examination of this topic see Fantasyland: How America Went Haywire by Kurt Andersen.

My Will Can Beat up Your Will

There is an odd idea that seems pervasive throughout U.S. culture and exists without much context or discussion. You may readily think of any number of examples where that could apply, but I refer to the notion of "will-power" as the determining factor in a conflict or contest. It struck me quite profoundly as I watched a scene in Marvel's movie Avengers: Infinity War. It has been mentioned elsewhere online and likely argued over by nerds everywhere since its release in 2018. The scene happens towards the end of the film, where Captain America holds back Thanos for a second. It has been established that Thanos is  a super-humanly powerful being, and him being the only one with the will to see his plan through. While Rogers is an enhanced human, he should be no match for Thanos. Yet, what defines Captain America is his refusal to stand down; he has faced unfair odds all his life and never hesitated to fully commit to the fight. The message is clear: this moment is not about objective or physical strength, but all about a will to win. Those few moments of struggle convey much of the idea which I am suggesting is problematic in real life.

Fantasy may be a grand place for such notions, where the very desire for an outcome creates the result one wants. However, it is too easy for people to delude themselves that such things are possible in reality. If you think no one could fall for this nonsense, remember that people pray for things or talk about "manifesting" their desires. I will include another aspect of comic/superhero tropes: the strength, agility, stamina, and other attributes that characters have without having to work at it. On a practical level, it allows the story to move quickly and focus on drama or action within the limited time of a book or movie. However, this also conveys ideas around innate, rather than learned and trained, skills. It seems connected to this "I should have this because I want it" ideal. Also, it is important as it relates to "fixed" and "growth" mindsets, which are worth exploring outside this post. Both these notions (will-power and innate talent) reflect ideas of worthiness and competition. I also recognize that we are dealing with the influence of media and entertainment upon consumers, and how people integrate the ideas they are exposed to from an early age. This is another topic for its own discussion. You may notice I am also not criticizing willpower in general. Grit has recently had a turn in the spotlight, and received a deserved discussion; we do not need to examine that here.

To return to the subject at hand, the psychological term for the belief that we can get something just by wanting is "magical thinking". This term is usually applied to and descriptive of the minds of children. Simply put, a child thinks of something they want and it then happens: someone they were mad at gets hurt or the sky clears of clouds when they want to go outside. There are a number of cognitive fallacies having to do with cause-and-effect, which are abandoned as we learn about the world. Magical thinking can be pernicious because of social pressures and/or personal experiences. Another component of this is children being egocentric. It is normal development for young humans to have no innate understanding that parts of the world are separate from them and their concerns. To a child, everything that they experience is about them and because of them. It is estimated that we develop empathy (here meaning an ability to consider others' experiences) by roughly 8 years of age. As with all abilities, empathy requires support to fully develop, so this depends on individual experience. Along with empathy, it is likely we also differentiate our self from the rest of the world during the same process. After all, it requires understanding that others are separate from ourselves in order to empathize with their differences. To believe that I should get what I want simply because I want it, or want it "more" (what scale measures that?) than someone else, is a selfish and egocentric belief. Once we are able to understand that others have similar desires, we can start to outgrow this tendency. We find it is just part of living with other humans that only sometimes do we get what we want. Unless there is an unlimited supply of something, we must take turns. This knowledge can inform our social development, as how we seek to fulfill needs comes into contact with others.

Above, I mentioned "worthiness and competition", and now these ideas come into focus. We must have methods for sharing, determining whose turn it is, and mitigating disappointment. These "wins" and "losses" can influence how we see ourselves, and how deserving we believe ourselves to be. It may be tempting to construct some superhuman entity which makes these determinations, thus relieving us of the burden of being the winner. Seeing others lose out hurts us because it is natural to empathize with them. We also know what it feels like because of our own turns as the loser. However, that magical thinking denies our agency in the very things we want because it eliminates the work and sacrifice of "taking turns". It gives up our self-determination, as it becomes a matter of some "universal force" making those decisions. While it can be a mitigating strategy ("I just was not meant to win" or "God willed it so"), it allows little room for improvement and skill-building. This is why it is so closely tied with fixed and growth mindsets. For any number of reasons, the creation of a supernatural force determining who "wins" is problematic. Now that we have arrived at some understanding of the developmental and social factors involved, we have opportunities to influence what sort of world we live in. Do we prefer a competitive world where each must develop methods of manipulation (of both self and others) to achieve goals? Do we prefer a cooperative world where we accept and encourage rational and honest ways of interacting?

Why Should Religions Pay Taxes?

There is a long history of debate and numerous arguments on both sides of this issue. I am not here to reiterate those points, nor would I be the person for that. However, I do have a couple points to make I have not heard before. First, it is important to know that the central issue behind tax exemptions for religious groups here in the U.S. comes from the old slogan "No taxation without representation". The reverse of the original statement is that if one does pay taxes, then one should receive representation for that payment. Because of the historic separation between religions and federal government, the notion that taxing religious organizations would entitle them to a say in the government was a deciding factor in exempting them. Second, the current state of government and all entities (religious or not) that operate within the U.S. is that everyone benefits from taxes paid. Roads, emergency response (although not all--a topic for another time), and public assistance are a few of the notable items which all citizens and entities gain from having in place. Whether or not your house or office burns down depends on your neighbors' as much as your own fire prevention. Similarly, if your neighbor draws from public assistance, you benefit by continuing to have a stable neighbor who is not incentivized to commit crime to survive. These facts adequately demonstrate the inter-connected-ness of all in the society. This includes religious entities, who draw from the public citizenry and utilize all those same services as other private and public institutions.

On to the big idea. I propose that the benefits religious organizations enjoy should only be extended to groups like Amish, who truly separate themselves and adhere to a dogma which does keep it from engaging in public life. All the other ones should be taxed, regulated, and expected to contribute as any other business, which they are. If religious organizations had no need of "act of god" riders in their insurance policies, and did not influence the insurance of others by their claims, then fine. If they truly were non-secular, uninvolved in contemporary affairs, and not subject to the benefits of government already, then I would support (and agree with others about) religious tax exemptions. If they did not involve themselves in government and have influence over elected officials, I could see how there was a separation. However, those are not the case, and they do all impact the society at large. Even without investigating their impacts on public opinion, policy decisions, and debates about various societal topics (which are many here), it is clear that the so-called separation is a contemporary illusion and needs to be addressed.