The Cult of the Penis

It seems that many people, but men especially, have the idea that certain parts of their body are somehow special, even that they are “holy” in some way, and therefore get treated differently than the rest. It is strange that some things that are so close to the truth are yet so twisted and misguided. Just as all people are miraculous, our bodies are marvelous and incredible-but this doesn’t mean that one or another person or part is better than the others, in fact it means the opposite, that none can be. People have different abilities and different forms and that is all they are: different. One or another is not “better”, that is the type of thinking that seeks to control others, and love is not about power. The goal is not to conquer or subjugate, but to forge connections and enrich relationships. This goes for sex as well, and maybe especially, since it is an exposure of ones’ entire naked self to another. Not just physically, either, Love and being intimate with someone else requires an exposure of one’s inner self, as well as the outer. This state of vulnerability requires much trust and confidence in whomever you share it with, and it should be revered as an expression of that relationship. Just because a man penetrates a woman doesn’t make her a possession or an object, she still retains all her own sacredness. Men seem to feel that they take possession of a woman after having sex with her, that his ‘mark’ is on her and no one else should touch her because of that, not even herself. The insecurity of men in part stems from this, because they will wonder, “what if the ‘mark’ comes off, or is ‘overwritten’ by another?” These interactions and attitudes are reflected in movies such as Chasing Amy and Closer, demonstrated by characters that pursue and revere sex. These people eventually come to understand that there is no special “mark”, that the special part of the relationship is the love that makes it happen. The relationship itself is all the “mark” that is needed. Understanding the uniqueness of this act, and of the feelings that accompany it, takes a lot more maturity than most people care to develop. We should really be worried more about the mind, because that is the biggest sex organ, and source of all intentions in regards to sex and whether to remain “faithful or cheat”-not the penis or vagina.

A Confession

I have to admit some things, and I hope you will bear with me. Some people may stumble upon my blog out amoungst the many on the web; others know me personally and I have invited to read what I write here. It is my hope that whoever you are, dear reader, that you explore, ponder, and otherwise enjoy my blog. Having said that, I feel the need to share a few things about myself, as writer and individual. I am not just a robot typing out drivel at random, though it may indeed seem that way (hopefully not, but it is possible); I am a person, much like yourself, I imagine. We probably share the same desires, hopes, and dreams: living in a better world, making a difference, loving and being loved in return, all the things that make us feel important and human. I recently went through a divorce from my partner of eight years, and it has been surprisingly difficult for both of us to act like rational adults in the process. Things have changed that I thought had been set for all time-I really considered us to be inseparable for the rest of our lives. But this is what happens when we delude ourselves, and allow ourselves to be deluded by others. I was silly to have thought that, and only now am I beginning to see why and how. I don't think I regret the experience, just that it had to be such a painful lesson, and that I caused so much inadvertent pain to someone I loved. However, I think I did learn some things, and so I can still agree with Alanis who said, "I greatly recommend getting your heart trampled on...."