The Terrible Truth About Lying

I have a lot to say on this subject, but I'll try and keep it interesting and of reasonable length; we can always come back to it and discuss it further later. First: as with anger, lying is based in fear. One does not lie if there is nothing to be afraid of by telling the truth, and one does not go through life lying because it is easier. If I were unafraid of saying something to someone on some level, why would I feel the need to make up a lie? Why go through all the trouble of concocting some tale except to placate my conscience or someone's sense of propriety? Telling the truth is easy, it's basically just reporting what happened. The only reason to lie is because one thinks it is better personally, either to advance in status or keep out of trouble. Instead of letting the boss know it was another person, you take credit for something successful. Trying to tell your spouse, "that affair didn't mean anything to me!" because you don't want to lose the security of having them around. Secondly, since no one controls anyone else, lies are one way of getting others to do what you want. If you know (or just suspect) that I won't help you with something you want, you lie to me to make it seem right or proper to help you. You actually trade your own reputation for that item, because when you are found out people around you are less likely to believe you. Instead of being honest and accepting the consequences, even if it's something simple like missing out on a few dollars or being grounded, you change things to your advantage. Last, and most important-even if least addressed: lying always, always, begins within you. When you lie, you always lie to yourself first and worst; you cannot lie effectively to another if you don't believe what you are saying. This means that you have gone through the process of convincing yourself of the lie, you have to accept that piece of unreality to persuade others of it. In doing so, you decrease your own hold on reality, you convince yourself a little bit more of your own importance and correctness. None of which is true; your own needs are not paramount, nor of spectacular concern for the rest of us, only yourself. By lying you make it clear that you place yourself before others, that you don't value the opinions and feelings of your fellow humans. It takes courage and conviction to tell the truth when it's really important, when lives are effected. It's important to talk about what is lacking in a marriage, even if it's difficult to admit being angry, or sorry. Really brave individuals accept rejection, understand the importance of respect, and handle failure well. It is okay to admit to being wrong, because it's okay to be wrong.