Insecurity and Anger

Being insecure means that one feels less confident in doing things, in all things that one does. Which inevitably leads to questioning ones decisions, actions, eventually everything is suspect as one cannot trust anything one does. Since everything is so uncertain, so unreliable, it creates a self-perpetuating system that other people will sense or even see. This will in turn lead to feeling angry, as not feeling confident leads to feeling threatened beyond a normal, reasonable amount or even by generally acceptable things. Which in turn leads to a greater level of anger in response to each perceived threat, as one can get upset about becoming unreasonably angry and irascible. This then reinforces the original insecurity, since one will feel it was right to suspect oneself in the first place.

Why do I bring this subject up, and why am I wasting space on an exploration or explanation of this simple process? The answer is equally basic: I suffer from this thinking, from feeling inadequate and ineffective. I, too, am human; it's true, believe what you will. Which would be part of why I write such things in the first place: to feel as though I am being productive, or even profound, and impacting others. But even as I write, it feels meaningless and trivial. The desire and goal is not necessarily to succeed, but even more: to not surrender. That I continue to write and try to become better and improve the world somehow is reward and success enough.