Judgment and Judge-mental

It is common to be convinced of the similarity of others to begin with. When one is young, the world revolves around what "I" want or need, and it is only through age and experience that one comes to understand what "other" really means. Even then, there is a common error of thinking others are motivated by the same things as ones' self. Many people never overcome the tendency of interpreting others' actions in light of one's own motivations. How often have you been angry at or, conversely, pleased with someone until they revealed their own reasons for doing something? Until they shattered that perception, you had thought they were slighting or insulting you, or that they had done something out of the kindness of humanity on their own. Then you find out they had a completely different train of thought, which you didn't consider and it's because they really are a different person than you are! Knowing people are different and treating them as though they are different from one's self are not automatic, nor necessarily consecutive. It is all too easy to take this progression only halfway and once one realizes that others are truly different, to leave off, to begin discounting it. It is important to continue and understand those differences and their significance. Recognizing, accepting, and even valuing differences is a positive thing that many people claim to do. The problem is that it is not a simple, one-step process, it doesn't just happen suddenly; instead, it is accomplished through effortful study and consideration. When one thinks one has it licked, it can change and another piece can rear it's head. What I'm saying is this can easily be a lifelong process, one which is slippery and tricky. But in the end, it frees one from others' emotional weight and gives one a finer appreciation for those others.

No One Is an Island

It is easy to think of people in terms of groups rather than as individuals; this can be seen most readily in schools. Kids hang out in "cliques", rarely venturing outside of these select enclaves and seemingly always engulfed by them. Even the "out crowd" is a group, though it is comprised of those who don't fit easily into other ones. So we have these kids being conditioned to think in terms of who they are surrounded by, and who is easiest to be with. They aren't challenged by, and don't challenge, their peers because they all want to continue to fit together, and the fear of being rejected by those "friends" is too great. Everyone fears rejection, it is natural to dislike being alone and outcast, even those who try so hard to not need others. How does this lead to people behaving as adults? Does this tendency to cling to the comfortable just evaporate after school? I hardly think so, it is generally accepted that the people one befriends in school (the so-called "formative years") are supposed to be lifelong. So these kids become accustomed to being with certain people, and certain types of people. After a while peer pressure seems normal, just fades into the background, and doesn't get noticed anymore. Which just means it doesn't get counteracted, and it is accepted as the only choice. As adults, how does it effect the workplace? What is the impact on governments? Maybe some of these problems we experience aren't such a mystery (most notably we can recall The Bay of Pigs debacle). Groupthink is alive and well when people do not value others' opinions, thoughts, and contributions. When we continue to ignore what "outsiders" have to offer, what a fresh perspective can show us, then we are islands, but islands of insecurity and fear. Such islands and attitudes lead us nowhere, and offer little hope to reach a common ground.