Communication Breakdown is Inevitable

I said previously (in my post Apart-ment of 21Dec04): It doesn't matter what I'm here to say anyway, because you might not understand it, what matters is what you are going to get out of reading it.  This is the constant limitation of communication and an issue which we come up against every day: the division between what is said and what is understood.  Our own thoughts are often a mystery, as when we find ourselves laughing hysterically at grave news, so it is difficult enough to be clear with ourselves.  Add to this the notion of communicating these garbled and convoluted notions to another who has the same problems.  The other person has to be able to listen through their own limitations and interference.  They need to be able to get out of their own preconceptions, judgements, and emotions to reassemble the ideas they are hearing.  Say we're making plans for a trip, "We'll get up early, clean up, and go for a short hike."  What do "early", "clean", and "short" mean in this context?  Certainly different things if we're camping out than when at home.  Yet somehow we end up taking for granted that others know what we're saying.  One of the most annoying things to me is the phrase "you know", mainly because it completely counterproductive.  If someone uses "you know" in recounting an experience there is very little chance I will, at any point, actually know what they are talking about.  As a verbal tic it is rivaled only by the word "like", when this is used outside of comparisons.  As I don't mean to turn this into a rant, I will not belabour the point.  Suffice to say, since I wish to be understood I use as many adjectives, nouns, and complete sentences as possible when talking.  I still remember the example I heard as a young child in class, which was to think of a chair and describe it.  Just the simple concept of "chair" evoked so many different types!  Amplify that to include the myriad nuanced peculiarities in our everyday discussions.  Unless we're painfully explicit when discussing these things, we can't be understood.  I think this is why it is so remarkable and memorable when we feel listened to and heard.  We know how difficult it is and we value it when someone else gives it to us.